FISH FIGHT!!!!

Sometimes the pressure of Spring Training can get to professional baseball players and they just need to let it all out.

The best way to do it?

FISH FIGHT!!!

I have no words for this...

More to come.

MORE SHARK FACTS

Another nice game at the plate today for Roger Bernadina.  The Shark helped the Nationals down the Marlins 8-4, as he went 1 for 3, with 2 runs scored.   Due to his speed, he forced an errant throw on a sacrifice bunt, setting up a 5 run inning for Washington.  One thing is sure, the Shark knows how to terrorize the Marlins.

As a society, we learn a little more about Roger Bernadina every day.  Some days we learn more than others.  Like today, for instance, we learn ten new things:

1. Great White Sharks account for about 30% of all shark attacks. Roger Bernadina accounts for the rest.
2. When not playing baseball, Bernadina hustles people in cards and charges exuberant interest rates while loaning out money.
3. A shark can sense blood in the water from several miles away, Roger Bernadina can sense where a ball will be hit, before the pitcher throws it.
4. San Jose named their hockey team the Sharks because Bernadina had a layover there once.
5. Until the nineteenth century, some inhabitants of the islands in the South Pacific considered sharks to be gods and offered human sacrifices to them.  After watching Bernadina play baseball, now they all do.
6. Shark skin(made of denticles) is so rough that if Bernadina high fives you, you'll need serious hand surgery.
7. The Chinese basketball team, the Shanghai Sharks is comprised of an army of Roger Bernadina clones.
8. The 1965 Chevrolet Mako Shark II concept car (which may very well be the coolest looking automobile in history), was designed after Roger Bernadina.
9. Adam Dunn didn't sign with the Chicago White Sox for the money. He signed because he has an inherent and crippling, pants-wetting fear of sharks.
10. Roger Bernadina can stop time. 

 More to come.

SHARK STEAL

Roger Bernadina's outfield competitors had some good games today during the Nationals 4-3 win over the Mets.  In left field, Mako Morse went 2 for 4 with a long home run...ugh.  Shark's center field rival, Nyjer Morgan, went 2 for 3, with 2 stolen bases in the leadoff spot.  (Nyjer, however, was also caught stealing twice, including one in the ninth with the game tied...whoops.)

That said, Morgan's speed doesn't scare Roger Bernadina because...

SHARKS CAN STEAL BASES TOO!

  
More to come.

SHARK BUNT

Roger "The Shark" Bernadina was back in the starting lineup, playing centerfield for the Nationals today.  With the exception of an at-bat and a couple innings in the outfield during Sunday's game, the Shark had the weekend off.  The extra rest did some good.  The Shark went 1 for 2 with a game tying RBI (it was from a walk...but still counts) during today's 14-9 trouncing of the Houston Astros.  Using his 'Usain Bolt'-esque speed, Shark led off the game with a bunt, then promptly stole second base.  His stats in the leadoff spot have been sparkling this spring and I look forward to seeing him play there in the regular season.

One thing is sure, Shark can bunt.

Reporters claimed that Roger Bernadina kindly refused the bat offered to him by the ball boy and then pulled a blue shark out of his locker. Before anyone could protest, the Shark had laid down a beautiful bunt and was cruising into first base.

More to come.

One B.A. Shark

Despite the Shark's absence from the lineup, the Washington Nationals won their spring training game today.  For those of you who are interested, during the 10-8 slugfest victory over the Yankees, the Shark's outfield competition (Mako Morse and Jerry Hairston) went a combined 3 for 8, with 3 Runs and 2 RBIs.  Decent numbers, indeed, however, these things don't scare Roger Bernadina.  Because he didn't play, I can assume he was doing something far more badass...

Such as...

Tearing down Camden Yards

Chasing down Bryce Harper's home runs

Walking away from explosions

Refusing to forgive Alfonso Soriano for signing with the Cubs

Leaving craters in the sand

Whatever he was doing, he was likely doing it in the most badass way possible.  Hopefully he will play tomorrow...

More to come.

A Street Shark Named Desire

The Cleveland Indians spring training ballpark isn't the only thing burning these days.  There is something more, burning stronger and more intensely than the laundry.  This, of course, is the burning desire in the hearts of all ballplayers.  And no heart burns brighter than The Shark's, who's heart is quite literally made of fire.  Even though the Nationals lost and Roger Bernadina went 0 for 4, nothing could subdue his desire to win.

With the use of modern technology (a large magnifying glass, which can inexplicably see through things), we see that Roger Bernadina's insides are consumed with the fire of victory.  Shark is burning.  Watch out.

More to come.

How about them Shark flavored apples?

The above title doesn't make sense.

Shark explosion!  Roger Bernadina went nuts yesterday! Leading off and playing in center field, the Shark went 2 for 4 with a three run home run! (Coincidentally, the game was vs the Florida Marlins) Additionally, the home run was off Josh Johnson, who led the National League in ERA last year, so shove that (Shark flavored) apple in your mouth and chomp down.  Bernadina came out to play/prey.

In a 20 million year old comparison, Bernadina is a Megalodon, and the competition are whales.  Megalodon destroys them.

Here's another bite of (Shark flavored) apple: Nationals Inquisition found out yesterday that Roger Bernadina will sign his name as 'The Shark' if asked and... they have photographic proof.

Finally, one more (Shark flavored) apple related tidbit: Roger, if you have an iPhone or iPod touch, you need one of these....

More to come.

Anatomy of The Shark

Another day, another victory for the Washington Nationals.  Sadly, they did it without the help of the Shark.  For those of you who are interested, Mike Morse went 2 for 2 (but was caught stealing. Ironically, no Shark-like speed for Mako), Rick Ankiel went 0 for 2, and Nyjer Morgan went 0 for 3.  Word on the street is that Nationals General Manager Mike Rizzo had a few jars at home that he just couldn't open, so Bernadina was sent there instead of the game.

It turned out to be a trap! When Bernadina got there, a few of Rizzo's cronies tranquilized him, in order to study him.  Naturally, the Shark escaped.  When the police arrived on the scene, bodies were strewn about, every jar in the house was open, and a piece of paper, documenting the anatomy of the Shark was sitting on a table in Rizzo's lab. The scientists had succeeded. A copy of the document is below.

The document was mostly intact, except for some unexplainable gaps in the glove and ball area.  Don't ask me how I got this, but if you do, I'll tell you.

More to come.