SHARK DEBUTS, NATS LOSE

Roger Bernadina is back with a vengeance!  After missing several days because of personal issues, followed by two more days of rain, the Shark has finally played baseball in the 2011 season.  The Syracuse Chiefs played two vs. the Pawtucket Red Sox and were victorious twice.  In game one, the Shark didn't start, but he did score the game tying run as a pinch hitter, instrumental in leading to the Chiefs eventual 3-2 extra inning victory.  In the second game, Bernadina started and DOMINATED.

His line: 2 for 3, 2 Runs, a Home run, 2 RBI, and a SB.  How much more Shark-like can you get?  That's a 5 tool Shark right there.  (It is so very nice to have actual information about Roger Bernadina on this blog...) With his ability, I expect to see a lot more of these dominating stat-lines during his tenure in the minors.  Counting down the days until the Shark is once again patrolling the ocean that is the Nationals outfield.

If the Shark was in the Nationals outfield, the outcome of tonight's game might not have been so sad. Cliff Lee of the Phillies completely embarrassed the Nationals, shutting them out on 3 hits and 12 Ks (with only 99 pitches thrown?!). Poor defense by the Nationals largely led to the final 4-0 score, as the Nationals (for whatever reason) thought that the Phillies needed help scoring runs.  Jordan Zimmermann dominated through five, facing the minimum 15 batters.  His perfect game was broken up by a Carlos Ruiz home run (coincidentally, the only earned run of the game).  His home run barely cleared the fence too.  With the Shark in left, I honestly believe we would be watching a highlight reel, 'perfect game saving' catch on Sportscenter tonight.

Which brings me to my next point... SOMETHING needs to be done about the outfield situation.  After today's game, Washington's outfield is batting .190 cumulatively... .190!?!?  I wish I had the cool of Roger Bernadina (who's batting .666) to just shake it off and say "Sh**k happens" but .190 is really bad...Really bad... Those are John Gochnaur numbers... BAD...  I would feel more comfortable with Ryan Leaf starting at quarterback for my favorite football team, than I feel with Morse starting in left for the Nationals.  Please, let something happen soon...

One positive about the Nats game was that there were Shark fans on site.  Our very own @tyindc was at the game with the original Louisville Slugger, Jumping Zac Flash (too many nicknames?...nah).  Check back later for a shark's perspective of the Nats loss.  In the mean time, enjoy these beautiful shark fans.

More to come.

THE BEST WAY TO COPE WITH A SHARKLESS LOSS

If you remember from a few days ago, today, April 13th was the day that I predicted that Roger Bernadina would be called up from the minors (I guess I can't dig it...). Sharkboy oh boy, could the Nationals have used The Shark tonight.  After getting shut out 8 innings by the seemingly immortal Roy Halladay, the Nationals summoned the spirit of the Shark in an attempt to once again stun the Phillies.

Unfortunately, after scoring 2 runs, to pull within one run of tying, Matt Stairs (still batting .000) and Ivan Rodriguez (say it ain't so Pudge) struck out to end the game.  That left the score 3-2 and the season series 1-1.  The Shark's spirit can only go so far, friends.   

Dear Nationals, summon the Shark from the minors if you want consistent victories....

Interestingly, the Shark's 2011 season in the minor still has yet to begin.  The game was "rained" out. (despite predictions of blue skies).  My best guess is that the "rain" was actually the tears of the PawSox, who were too afraid to play and were praying that the Shark would be called up to the Nationals before the game. CONSPIRACY!

It's been a tough day.  The best way to cope is to sit back and enjoy the little things....

Landshark Lager and Shark Bites

Breaking news:  Roger Bernadina was apparently hanging out on an Australian golf course.  This article uses just about every shark pun ever...  Still I would love to play golf here.  Chip it in the water, and say hi to the Shark!

More to come.

SH**K HAPPENS

When the Phillies come to town, the Nationals are ready to play.  Washington defeated Philadelphia 7-4 with the help of a strong pitching performance by Livan 'Lionhearted' Hernandez and The Great Werth.  RicK AnKiel earned the K's in his name with 2 more in a 1-5 performance.  Like I said before, nothing better than a defeated Phillie Fan and everyone at the game today got to experience that pure joy.  Interesting thing to note: for the season thus far, the Phillies team has a batting average of .334, WHICH IS 117 POINTS HIGHER THAN THE NATIONALS (.217)!!!  When the Shark is finally promoted, we can expect that batting average to go up.  Still, a VERY satisfying victory.

Ryan Zimmerman's abs were the talk of the town yesterday.  After straining his abdomen over the weekend, he was placed on the Disabled List this morning.  While many were hoping that the Nationals were going to promote The Shark, this did not happen.  Rather, they promoted Jesus Flores, and his 2 hits all season from Syracuse.  I'm as surprised as (literally) EVERYONE else is.

Bernadina, cool as a cookie cutter shook it off, saying "Sh**k happens, man."

Like any good teammate, Roger Bernadina offered to take Flores to the airport.  Strangely, Flores hasn't been seen since...

Some good news is that Bernadina returned to Syracuse after missing several games due to "family issues."  Some bad news is that the game today was cancelled so we will have to wait one more day to get some Shark stats on this blog.  Let the season begin!

More to come.

NATIONALS WIN, SHARK IN SPACE?!

The Nationals improved their record to 4-5 by beating the Mets 7-3 in 11 innings.  Laynce Nix (I was as surprised as you were...) hit a game deciding 3-run home run after the Nationals took the lead on a Pudge Rodriguez single.  The "Sharked-up" relief pitchers continued their late inning dominance with 5 scoreless innings.  It was a good win, and we all hope they can carry over the momentum back home.

RicK AnKiel returned to form today with an 0 for 6 showing.  The Great Werth had a 0-4 day and Mako Morse was the only starting outfielder with a hit as he went 1-4.  Following the game, the three of them stepped to the corner of the locker room and played Paper-Scissors-Shark to see who would "volunteer" to go to the minors in order to bring the Bernadina up.  For whatever reason, AnKiel didn't choose Shark once (which eats everything and therefore wins every time) as Werth and Morse did.  Rick was last seen packing his bags and muttering about how badass the "BMW Outfield" sounds

Once again, Roger Bernadina did not play for Syracuse.  It has become clear that without at least partially legitimate Shark news, this blog is pointless.  I wish I could tell you when he would be playing again and where he has been, but I only have speculation. I ask you to just hang tight and keep regularly checking in (also, please continue accosting random people on the street, ordering them to check it out).  The good news is that the Shark has been recently spotted by a Kalamazoo Valley Community College, Astronomy 101 class and is apparently still in baseball form.

Note: Starting Tuesday, the Nationals kick off a series against the Phillies. This is going to be a big test for the Shark-less Nats to prove if they can compete with the Big 4 and the potent Phillies lineup.  It's also a test for Nationals and Shark fans alike to show up and hopefully embarrass the worst fans in America.   Get there and fill the seats.  Trust me, there is no better sound than that of a Phillies fans' heart breaking.  @TyInDC will be there in shark garb, so keep your eyes peeled.

Finally, let us all now join hands and pray that the Nats call up Roger "The Shark" Bernadina to help devour the dimwitted arrogance that is the Philadelphia Phillies.

More to come.

Nats Fall, Shark Rolls Eyes

After 5 innings of today's game, the Washington Nationals were leading 4-3 against the Mets and everything seemed to going great. Tom Gorzelanny had 7 strikeouts and had given up only 3 hits.  It looked as if the Nationals were cruising towards their 3rd straight victory....

...And then Washington remembered that they didn't have a Shark on the team.  Jerry Hairston Jr. acted like a minnow in the Nationals Zoo, botching a ball hit directly at him.  Nationals pitchers proceeded to give up 5 quick runs.  Pinch hitter "specialist" rickety old (Matt) Stairs entered with 2 on in the top of the 8th, with a chance to take the lead, and promptly grounded out.  He is now batting a cool .000.  In his defense, he does have 3 walks, however, he has been an unsuccessful pinch HITTER so far this year.

It should also be noted that Stairs grounded out against Francisco Rodriguez, a man whom Bernadina has batted .667 off, with a home run and 3 RBIs.

On the Mets side, Carlos Beltran hit 2 home runs. When asked to comment on his power display, Beltran laughed and said, "Today I considered myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.  If the Shark-man was playing, I would have gone 0-4.  I know that, you know that.  No reason to hide the truth."

Finally, there is still no sign of the Shark in Syracuse.  The Chiefs surprisingly won 2-1 without the Shark.  Everyone had sharked up before the game  The one highlight of that game was Boomer Whiting, who, when called to play CF, appeared in majestic fashion, decked out in authentic Egyptian pharaoh garb. and scored the winning run in the 10th (as the pitcher refused to throw anything near him).

Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, Roger Bernadina rolled his eyes.

More to come.

Shark Scares a Ray; Still MIA

The Shark-less Nationals just spoiled the Mets home opener to improve to 3-4 on the season!  Pudge's surprising 2 RBI single in the eighth and the awesome pitching by the Peach-less Clip sealed it.  But that's not the big story today...

Manny Ramirez retired today after testing positive for "performing enhancing drugs." Allegedly, the Tampa Bay Rays player tracked down Bernadina and asked him for some of his "Shark Sweat."  An anonymous reader sent in this photo of the two meeting:

Of course, The Shark would never help out an opposing player and he denied Manny's request.  Manny was not only upset, but realized that he, as a mere Ray, would never be able to compete with the fearsome Shark.  So, it was not "performing enhancing drugs," but rather embarrassment and fear that drove Manny to retirement- which baseball player/sea creature will be next?

In other news, Bernadina was still nowhere to be found today at the Syracuse Chief's game.  Maybe the Shark is taking a few days to take a vacation and see the sights in San Francisco?

Or possibly hanging out with Stephen Baldwin in Venice?

More to come.

Nationals "Shark Up," Feast on Marlins

Victorious!  This morning, I predicted that the Nationals would feast on Marlin blood during tonight's game.  Turns out, I predicted correctly (probably will never happen again)!  It took 11 innings, but the Nationals (shockingly, still without the Shark), defeated the Marlins 5-3.  Immediately after the game, several Nationals players, led by Todd Coffey were seen tearing open Florida's Wes Helms and dipping into him with a ladle (untrue). Not really, but they did go fishing, catch a marlin, and drink it's sweet apple-juice blood (still untrue).

A lot of credit for the win goes to the Nationals bullpen and their 6 scoreless innings.  However, when congratulated after the game, the bullpen quickly passed all the credit to Roger Bernadina.  Apparently, they all injected the Shark's sweat directly into their brachial artery before the game giving them the strength needed to win.  John Lannan refused to "shark up" and gave up 3 runs...

Very little credit goes to the outfield combo of Nix and AnKiel.  AnKiel actually raised his batting average up to .158 with a 1 for 4 performance (but it is no surprise that he also struck out).  Laynce Nix, starting in left, went 0 for 2 with an error (Note: sharks do not make errors). Unable to watch the game myself, I was left with MLB Gameday (which falsely represents the number of fans at Sun Life Stadium) and updates from TyInDC.  According to him, "Nix and Ankiel [dropped] everything in the OF tonight." Since they aren't sharks, I don't doubt that for a minute.

Finally, as mentioned yesterday, the Syracuse Chiefs kicked off their 2011 season!  Shockingly, Roger Bernadina did not play. WHAAAAAAAATT??  Some reports have stated that he will miss a few games due to family issues.  If that is the case, I hope everything is okay.  Other theories have Bernadina house shopping in Onondaga Lake, traveling, because he's been called up to the Nationals (I wish), or devouring Somali pirates.  The most likely scenario, however, is that the Buffalo Bisons took a page out of Gloria James' book and ambushed, beat, and locked up the Shark before the game.  Fearful of his skills, the Bisons' manager did everything he could to prevent the Shark from playing.  It didn't have it's desired affect, fortunately, as the Chiefs beat the Bisons 8-4.  Hopefully Bernadina will be back playing soon.

More to come.

Nationals Skewered by Marlins, Bernadina Disappointed

As the Nationals hung their heads in shame after losing 7-4 to the Marlins yesterday, a glimmer of hope remained in their eyes.  Sure, the game was sloppy.  The Nationals led 4 to nothing going into the 5th inning when everything unraveled.  The game quickly became tied and then by the 7th, the Nationals were down 6-4.  Todd Coffey was ejected, RicK AnKiel (.133 BA) and Mako Morse (.118 BA) went a combined 1 for 7.

After the game Jim Riggleman said, "I just want to apologize to all the Nats fans out there who were expecting more from us this season.  We all make mistakes.  I will never forgive myself unless the Shark is back soon.  I will not rest!"  When told that he had the power to bring the Shark back, Riggleman exclaimed, "Really?  How come no one told me this before?"  Everyone just stared blankly at him.

Roger Bernadina was not pleased with the Nationals anemic performance.  When cornered for questioning, The Shark devoured the reporters.

Many of you are asking, what about that glimmer of hope that you talked about? The Syracuse Chiefs kick off the 2011 season tonight against the Buffalo Bisons.  BERNADINA will be playing!  Meaning... we will actually have more real information on Bernadina soon!  Can you dig it? 

Prediction time:  Barring any injuries, Roger Bernadina will be called up April 13th.  That will give him a week in the minors to display his skills, and give the Nats outfield enough time to show they need him. Can you dig it??

THE NATIONALS WILL DRINK MARLIN BLOOD TONIGHT!!!! 

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

I can dig it.  But I would dig it even deeper if I knew the Shark would be playing.

Something pointless.  Can you guess which US city I'm in?

This 1778 painting of a Roger Bernadina feeding frenzy is prominently displayed in this city's Museum of Fine Arts

This X will be here until Roger Bernadina plays in this city's baseball stadium

More to come.