Shark Back in Action, Ben Goessling Confused

Roger Bernadina returned to the Syracuse Chief's lineup today, and big surprise, they won 3-0 against the Rochester Red Wings.  Yunesky Maya threw 8 shut-out innings, and The Shark sparked the Chief's offense (from the Syracuse website):

Roger Bernadina and Seth Bynum teamed up to get Syracuse's offense going in the third inning. Bernadina knocked a single to right to get on base with one out. The leftfielder then tried to steal second, and Red Wings catcher Rene Rivera's throw attempt sailed into the outfield, allowing Bernadina to take third. Bynum tallied his 14th RBI of the year on a single to right, bringing Bernadina home to give the Chiefs their first lead.

The Shark in the Chiefs uniform...sorry no Photoshopping

Smart base running by The Shark.  He also hit a double later in the game and brought his AVG up to .286. Current Nats outfielders averages: Werth: .226 - Morse: .221 - Ankiel: .215

The National's offense is in desperate need of a Sharkplug.  Especially with the news that Ryan Zimmerman will be out SIX WEEKS because he needs surgery on his usual rock hard abs.  Bernadina can come in and provide some offense and better OF defense for the Nats

I leave you with this link to Ben Goessling's post about the Shark getting sent back down: Nationals send Roger Bernadina back to Triple-A Syracuse.   He makes some good points about The Shark not getting playing time unless Riggleman takes some at-bats away from Ankiel or Morse and he still has hope for Matt Stairs.  The real reason he wrote this post is to ask this question at the end, and this is an acual quote, not made up: "I'd also love it, just once, if somebody can give me a logical explanation of the Sharkadina thing"

Feel free to send Ben a tweet at @masnBen telling him why Bernadina is The Shark and why he should be on the 25 man roster. 

More to come.

Marquis "Sharked Silly", Nationals Shut Out Giants

"To be honest, I was sharked silly tonight.  I don't even remember pitching after the 4th.  They say we won. Go Nate!...Yeah, I mean Nats!" - Jason Marquis


Jason Marquis was sharked out of his mind tonight against the Giants!  Up against arguably the best pitcher in baseball, The Nationals, led by Marquis outdueled The Freak and cruised to a 3-0 victory.  RicK AnKiel (now batting .215) didn't contribute, but Laynce Nix helped out, by hitting a 2 run jack.  Meanwhile, The Shark hasn't returned to the Syracuse lineup yet, and the Chiefs lost again.  Without him, they have now lost six straight games.  What doesn't make sense to me is that he's not on the Nationals nor the Chiefs.  WHY ISN'T ANYONE BENEFITING FROM THE SHARK!? 

Yesterday: Daddy Desmond, proud new father of Grayson Sharkadina Desmond, took some tips from The Shark before returning to the lineup and it showed with his triple/homerun performance. While the Nationals did win the game 4-3, everyone was still bitter with Jim Riggleman for demoting the Shark, and shunned him throughout the game, with Alex Cora subbing in as Manager. They ended up winning 4-3.



Andre Ethier is acting very Shark-like these days, extending his hitting streak the 24 games.  On the Nationals side, Matt Stairs has extended his hitless streak to 17 games this season.  In an interview, a visibly upset Stairs stated, "I get it! I'm not the Shark! But my mom won't let me quit the team! I HATE THIS!  Pleeeeeaaase let me go Tom! PLEASE!!!"  It began to get really uncomfortable when he got on his knees, grabbed the reporters pants and wept for several minutes.

Breaking News: Nationals owner Ted Lerner admitted today that he allowed Rick Ankiel to be signed because of the fairly convincing Shark impression Lerner saw Ankiel do a few years ago (when he was still good...).

Apparently you can draw a picture of Roger Bernadina with the number 4. Awesome!

More to come.

SHARK OPTIONED, OCEAN UP IN ARMS

In an unexpected turn of events, Roger "The Shark" Bernadina was optioned back to AAA today and the entire Atlantic Ocean went crazy.  Thousands of sharks, squids, and whales formed a blockade along the eastern seaboard, wreaking major havoc in the shipping lanes.  Reports of ravaged boats turning up on the beach with "PROMOTE THE SHARK" and "BIG MISTAKE" scrawled on the side, are coming in rapidly.  So far there have been no known casualties but several hundred remain missing.

Photograph of attacked vessel

- Said a basking shark who asked to remain anonymous, "If The Shark ain't back with the Nats soon, this sh**k is gonna get real!"

- An elder walrus, named Herbert, arfed, "They kept Stairs? What the f**h?!  He's older than Poseidon himself.  I watched him cross the Atlantic with Columbus. Come on!!"

- One sad little seahorse holding an autographed Bernadina baseball cried, "Why would they do that to my hero?"

The US Coast Guard has responded but have so far had very limited success...

I don't know why they thought this would work

Admiral Anidan of the USS National has been quoted saying, "Never in history has there been a battle between humans and nature as epic as this.  To be honest, I'm scared to death.  They've taken out three of our Carriers."  Huge Shark fan Barack Obama has already sent a plea to the Nationals organization, but has heard nothing back.

I can only hope for the world's sake that the Nationals recall Roger Bernadina soon.  In this already stricken economy, nobody needs or wants to deal with an ocean full of furious fish.  Nationals, do the right thing.  Promote the Shark!

More to come.

How I Met Your Shark

As promised, here is my full recap of meeting Roger Bernadina and becoming Fan of the Game.  A heads up to our regular readers (or just lone reader?) this post is longer and more sentimental than our normal, satirical fare. 

Zac and I arrived at the stadium early in hopes of meeting Bernadina down by the field prior to the game.  The Fan Photo takers swarmed us like sharks descending on their prey and we happily posed with our Shark sign.  After that, I was approached to be filmed for Fan of the Game.  Terry was filmed at the April 2nd game and then he didn't get on the screen (they went with little kids).  I was approached at the April 14th game but right before he filmed me, the voice in his headset told him they had all they needed.  This time was different.  I used all of my Shark moves in front of the camera- chomping, jumping, and swimming my way to certain victory.  Sure enough, in the 5th inning when Fan of the Game was up on the Jumbotron (video), Nats Park cheered for me, and by extension, The Shark.  To be fair, the odds were stacked in my favor as the other two contestants were not super hot girls or cute little kids.

After having some hot dogs and beer, we went down to our seats.  On our way there we heard a call of "Sharkadina!" It was "Jorgath" and "sweetpearacer" from one of the biggest Pro-Shark sites out there: Federal Baseball.  They complimented Terry's Photoshop skills and we chatted for awhile before the rain started coming down and we were forced back to the concourse.  There we met a nice couple, "Whiskey Dave" and his wife, who are also big Bernadina fans.  The more people I talk to, the clearer it becomes that The Shark really is a fan-favorite!

Once the rain stopped we headed back down and I kept my eyes locked on the dugout for any sight of a dorsal fin.  I saw it rise above the surface and we lifted our sign into the air like a beacon.  He saw us immediately (obviously using his Shark-sense) and started to walk over.  Zac and I navigated the waters of section 135 and made it to the fence in record time.  We shook hands, posed for pictures, and talked about how we hoped he would be in DC for awhile and how much he likes the blog.  That was about all we got in before other autograph hounds elbowed in to meet the most Jawesome player in the league.

When Terry and I first wore the Shark hoods and made the sign on a whim last August, I never could have imagined that eight months later we would have a popular(ish) blog and that so many people would adopt our nickname and use it online and at games.  I definitely didn't expect to have the honor of meeting my favorite player.  I hope it is the first of many meetings and hope they will continue once Terry gets back to DC next month.

It really was an awesome experience and we were on a high for the rest of the game.  The Nats played a great game (if you ignore the top of the 9th inning) and The Shark had a single and a double! He also had a great dive that came up inches short from catching a fly ball in left.  That play proves he is one of the speediest, most athletic outfielders in the league (certainly on the Nats roster) and why he first earned the "Shark" name.

We are obviously really big fans of Bernadina at this blog, and in all fairness, I wanted to link to this great article by Patrick Neuman at the Examiner discussing Bernadina in the larger context of the Nats organization.  He says "If Bernadina catches fire this season (most likely after returning to Syracuse this weekend), the Nationals would be very happy and could start envisioning a solid outfield lineup."

Not only would the Nationals be very happy, but The Shark and his fans would too. 

More to come.

THE SHARK MEETS SHARKADINA

When this blog was started, there was a poll question posted : Will Terry and Tyler meet the Shark?  Most of you answered "Yes within a year." For those of you who didn't answer that, SUCK IT! YOU WERE WRONG!...or at least you were half wrong... At tonight's rained delayed Nats game, half of the Sharkadina Duo, Tyler as well as Jumpin Zac Flash met Roger Bernadina. (somewhere in the Midwest, the other half, Terry, was writhing with jealousy) More details about the interaction and a further analysis of tonight's game will be posted later.  In the meantime, here is a picture of the Tyler with the Shark:

To add to the coolness of the game, Tyler was then filmed to compete for Fan of the Game....

AND HE WON!!

In a situation similar to the April 3rd game, the game was delayed by renegade Shark fans trying to build a pool on the field.  The rain supposed to come through in the 5th but The Shark wasn't digging it so he snapped his fingers and it stopped.  On the mound, Tom Gorzellany was strong through 6.1 innings, allowing only a run on 4 hits.   THE SHARK came in defensively in the 7th as well and led off the bottom of the inning with a single.  He came up in the 9th as well against K-Rod and cracked a double to left.  That's half the Natural Cycle!  Unfortunately, the Mets scored 4 in the ninth to seal the win 6-3.  As I mentioned earlier, Tyler will be posting more on the game later tonight so be sure to check back.

Quotes From the Game (Care of Jumpin Zac Flash)

"Ain't no one in this section got enthusiasm except for me... and my shark boys" - drunk lady behind us at the game.

"thank you for entertaining my son's first game" - lady in front of me with the infant who enjoyed my jaw chomping.

"can we take your picture?" - hot girl #1

"can we get a picture?" - hot girl #2 with her handsome guy friend

"are you the guys that write the blog?!" - sweet p

"where does one find a shark hat?" - guy in front of me with tattoos

"is sharkadina on facebook?" - whiskey dave

"you guys are nats fans, right? " .. "yes"..."cool, GO SHARK..YEAH GO SHARK" - guy behind me


More to come.

The Shark 'Fin'ally Debuts for Nationals

Tonight was the night that everyone has been waiting for....  (Everyone, even you sir, ye who has never read this blog before).  Roger "The Shark" Bernadina was back with the Nationals at last!  It was a fine spring evening in Washington and a beautiful night for baseball (I was fortunate enough to follow the game on my phone in the basement as tornado sirens wailed).  From what I saw, the fans could feel the buzz in the air... The Sharkplug was back and it was to be a night to remember.

But then... Riggleman didn't start Bernadina, and his Shark power was limited from the bench.  Jordan Zimmermann started for the Nationals tonight, giving up 5 runs to the Mets.  A Shark-less outfield didn't help... Jayson Werth committed his 2nd error in 2 days, and Mako Morse was two steps short of robbing the Josh Thole of a double and the Mets of 2 runs (Shark makes that catch 10/10 times).  For the first 8 innings, the outfield was in shambles

Then, something changed.  The Shark took over for Mako in left field after a bunt single to start the 9th.  From that point on, the Mets clearly feared hitting the ball in the outfield, lest they be eaten.  Sadly, they didn't need to get the ball out of the infield to add a run.  For whatever reason, Sean Burnett (probably in a strange and pathetic attempt to impress the Shark) hit two batters, and allowed a run on a groundout leaving the score 6-4. The Shark was helpless.  In the bottom of the ninth, Bernadina did get an at bat, but because David Wright was doped out of his mind on "Black Magic" and happened to raise his glove hand just as the ball was coming, the Shark went unrewarded in his debut.

Additional SharkNotes:

• Wilson Ramos had the opportunity to chat with the Shark before the game... Anyone watching the game could tell.... The Rhino went 3 for 4 with 2 HR and 3 RBIs
• The Shark won today's battle against BizarroShark (Justin Maxwell) in the race to see who gets the call to The Show first. Point - Bernadina
• To all those who doubted me when I claimed Bernadina was being promoted, "Shark it!"
• As expected, Roger Bernadina made a grand entrance at the ballpark tonight:

Bernadina jumped from an airplane at 30,000 feet.

All of DC felt the impact, especially Jose Reyes who was badly burned.

The Shark appeared, pointed at the Mets bench and mouthed, "I'm back."

All in all, the night had it's ups and downs.  Let's hope The Shark gets the start tomorrow so he can shred the Mets like fresh grated Parmesan on piping hot Spaghetti Carbonara in a microwavable safe Tupperware.

More to come.

Our long Nationals nightmare is over...

THE SHARK IS BACK!  We all expected him to be called up soon, either because of his ferocious play in Syracuse, or the lackluster play of the current Nats outfield, but no one expected the reason to be Ian Desmond's wife getting knocked up.  We should all send her flowers when she delivers the new baby.  Maybe Ian will name the little one Sharkadina Desmond (I think that works for both a boy or a girl?)

Well, anyway, we need to enjoy this Sharktime while it lasts.  Our own Sharkadina is still out of town, but I (Tyler) will be there tonight in Shark attire to welcome him home.  I hope he can get a couple of plate appearances and show the home town crowd what he is made of and prove once and for all, the ShAAArk is no more!

Read Goessling's take here.  He call's Bernadina the "safe choice" to get called up.  While he may be safe, the Mets and Chris Young have suddenly found themselves in the most dangerous place in the country- a Shark infested Nats Park!

See you at the game tonight!

More to come.

SHARK'S BACK!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is the moment we have all been waiting for...

SHARK RETURNS!!!

(Source: Roger Bernadina)

More to come.

SHARKPLUG VS BIZARROSHARK

EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA INNINGS IN SCRANTON!

The Syracuse Chiefs offense looked anemic again, scoring only one run in the 13 inning 2-1 loss.  Former National CF Justin Maxwell has apparently turned into a Shark-hunter after being traded to the Yankees in the offseason.  Roger Bernadina had several hard hit balls but only hada single to show for it.  Maxwell robbed him of several hits and I now deem Maxell, BizarroShark.  BizarroShark had the game winning walk-off home run, giving him the edge today (but he should be VERY wary of a vengeful Shark).

The Shark did show BizarroShark a thing or two on the basepaths, stealing 2 more bases today.  That puts him at 5 on the season.  It's a pretty impressive number considering this was only his 13th game.  We all know that Sharks can steal bases....[EVIDENCE]

Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh, the Nats offense sputtered as well.  They scored 2 runs in the first inning then NONE after that...  The Pirates scored 4 off John Lannan to win the game 4-2.  Mako Morse did his best Shark-impression with a catch against the wall.  The wind was knocked out of him, but his fake gills helped him recover.  Jayson Werth did his worst Shark-impression, committing an error in the 4th, which helped lead to a run. Also, RicK AnKiel struck out to end the game with runners on 1st and 3rd...

Overall the Nationals looked lost....  Like something was missing...

They need something. Something at the top of the lineup. Something defensive. Something powerful, fast, skilled, and jawesome.  They need something to ignite the offense, a spark...a shark... a...a... a... SHARKPLUG!

Update:  I have just heard from someone in the Washington Nationals organization(Rizzo?) that they are indeed pursuing a sharkplug!!! And then I saw what they meant...

Not the same, Rizzo, not the same...

More to come.

HAPPY EASTER, ROGER BERNADINA

I'm not sure if the Shark celebrates Easter, but he showed up at the plate for the holiday.  The Shark went 1 for 4 with a double and a run scored.  Despite the Syracuse Chiefs dropping the 3-2 game to the Yankees, Roger Bernadina accounted for a fifth of all the Chiefs' hits. The Chiefs need to break out of this hitting slump if they want to win some games.  The Shark can't do it himself (well, he can. But you shouldn't make him)!

Speaking of breaking out of slumps, the Nationals beat the Pirates yesterday 6-3 with Mako Morse showing some of that Spring Training pop by clubbing a 3 run jack in the 3rd.  While the homer looked similar to those that the Shark hits, his skills on the base paths could use some Shark mentoring, as he was caught stealing...

The Nats and Chiefs both have games today, and the holiday weekend is over so expect real posts soon.  Until then,

Happy Easter, Roger Bernadina!

More to come.

SHARK BITES YANKS IN CERTAIN PLACES

With the Nationals/Pirates and the Chiefs/Yankees games rained out, it was a sad day in Sharktown.  Not really.  It was probably beneficial to get a extra day of rest after the shutouts on Thursday.  The Shark will return today, strong and ready to destroy the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees (What a ridiculously long name for a minor league baseball team's town's name).  As yesterday's game was rained out for Syracuse, the Chiefs will play a doubleheader, meaning it will be double the pleasure for the Shark.

He's gonna turn Scranton/Wilkes-Barre into fish chum, making a mess out of the team.

I didn't want to make the picture to bloody.  Billboard though? Hmm..

In an effort to keep this blog up to date, and to try something new, I am going to update throughout the day, so keep checking back to discover how the Shark is doing up to the minute.

4:35 EST Shark walks! Have you ever seen a shark walk? Be more impressed. Chiefs up 1-0

12:27 EST  Happy Easter.  I guess I am a big liar.  I only updated once.  The Nationals, without the Shark to push them to victory, lost to Pittsburgh 7-2.  To Pittsburgh?  Come on.  Bring on the Shark and bring on the victories.   The Great Werth had a home run, hopefully meaning he will break out of his early season woes.  (His home run did help my fantasy team have a ridiculous .475-12-7-12-1 today)

Like I said earlier, Syracuse had two on the vine today.  They lost the first game 4-2, because the Yankees has drugged Bernadina (who went 0-3) to the point of exhaustion.  He recovered in the second game to bat a smooth .500, with a double.  He bit the Yanks apart, like the picture shows, and tomorrow, I expect more of the same.

That said, I will be spending time with the family tomorrow, so post will be short...if existent.  Sorry, lone reader.

More to come. (real posts again after tomorrow)

Double Shutout, Oh My Gosh!

What does this mean?  What does this mean!!

The Nationals and the Chiefs both played day games today....  First the Nationals.  Following yesterday's trend of very few hits in a game, they managed only 2 hits against Kyle Lohse (Tyler and I caught a foul ball hit by Kyle Lohse in the first game we ever attended wearing Shark hoods.  Clearly, this knowledge seems to have given Lohse a boost of energy, so I apologize Nats fans...) and lost 5-0.  The two hits belonged to Mako Morse and Jayson Werth, which helped boost their batting averages to .209 and .196, respectively... Incredible production from the power spots in the outfield.... Somehow, Kyle Lohse himself had half as many hits as the Nationals managed. Wow...

Cardinals manager, Tony LaRussa approached Jim Riggleman after the game and thanked him profusely for not promoting the Shark before this series, "Jim, you are a gentleman and a scholar for not playing the Shark. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to lose! Haha!...haha...ha?" Hmm...

Meanwhile, in Pawtucket, the Chiefs lost 14-0.  No, you didn't misread that.  Fourteen to zero. FOURTEEN!?!? WHAT?? Garrett Mock was pretty much a complete disaster, walking 7 batters, and allowing 8 runs in 2 innings... Yikes.  Roger Bernadina went 1 for 3 and now has a four game hitting streak.   Also, he is now batting .290 on the season (69 points higher than RicK AnKiel).  He was the lone bright spot that was otherwise a Supernova of a disaster of a game.  Then, after the game, he devoured Garrett Mock.  It's time to get Bernadina back to where he belongs because Nationals + Shark = Winners.

The lone bright spot of the day is that I finished watching Shark Swarm.  Because SyFy uses CGI to create the sharks, it was starting to look like a triple shutout as Roger Bernadina was no where to be seen!  Then boom went the dynamite and the Shark appeared in his full glory suddenly making the movie something watchable.  I later felt like a complete idiot when I saw the DVD cover.  Of course Bernadina was going to be in the movie!

Hopefully things will go better tomorrow.  It's Friday. Gotta get down on Friday...

Breaking News: BIXLER?!?!!  BIXLER?!!  WHERE'S THE SHARK LOVE?! (Jesus Flores sent down, Brian Bixler promoted)

More to come.

DEUCES WILD! SHARK TIME!

No, it's not a sequel to Outkast's Idlewild (although that would be awesome, too)... It's even better!!!  Roger "The Shark" Bernadina dominated today.  And the Nats did pretty good too!  Two was today's magic number.

Firstly, Shark information:
Twos were wild for Syracuse tonight!  Roger Bernadina brought his A+ game to Pawtucket.  While batting second in the Chiefs lineup, the Shark had a walk, 2 singles, 2 stolen bases, and a run scored (which was the go ahead run in a tied game).  Defensively, the Shark was a killer as well, doubling the PawSox's CF off at first for an impressive and important two outs in the 8th.   Some other players did alright as well (a couple 2-run jacks were hit), but Bernadina was definitely the Player of the Game, the table setter for the Syra'twos'(yikes) victory.  He won Shark of the Game too, but he wins that every night.  Unable to use the "Black Magic" they had used in the previous games, the PawSox fell victim to the Shark's powerful jaw and succumbed to losing.  Final score 6-3.

Deuces are always wild when Bernadina is present

Second-of-ly, the Nationals:
Washington played 2 games today making up for yesterday's rained out game.  In the first game, even though they didn't score any runs in the 2nd inning, they scored 1 in the 1st and 6 in the 3rd (a second inning sandwich)! Second baseman, Danny ESPinosa led off today and had a great game, collecting 3 hits and scoring 2 runs (he's now batting .292 on the season).  The Nats only had one double but they had 2 stolen bases (the same number that Bernadina had himself...)  Even though they were playing without the Shark, #2, they managed to win 8-6 (won by 2 runs... hmm...).  RicK AnKiel (with the 2 Ks in his name) had no strike outs in the game, but managed to be picked off in the game, which combined with a caught stealing earlier this season, that is his second unnecessary out of the year.

The second game was not quite as successful.  Jordan Zimmermann (the one with 2 n's) gave up 5 runs in 6 innings.  Mako Morse went 0-4, dropping his average to .186.  Ian Desmond had an error, his fifth on the season (and second of the day).  The Nats only managed 5 hits on the day and fell 5-3 (another 2 point spread).  They could have definitely sharked up and used The Shark in this second game of the day.

Moral: Bernadina is the Nationals pocket aces (which adds up to two).  Promote the ShAAArk!!

More to come. 

BLACK MAGIC HAUNTS CHIEFS

Honestly, this version of Mortal Kombat looks terrible...

While the Pawtucket Red Sox may have won yesterday's game against the Syracuse Chiefs, the series is far from over (and by far from over, I mean 2 games left as of Tuesday night). Yesterday, The Shark went 1 for 4 in the 5-1 loss.  He was stranded at second base in the eighth inning with the tying run in the on-deck circle.

Game 2 was tonight, with the Shark and the Chiefs seeking revenge on those bizarre bears in skirts.  Bernadina followed a Brian Bixler single with a double to start the game.  Bixler scored on the ensuing sacrifice fly.  Sadly, the offense was stalled there and the the Chiefs fell 3-1 to the skirted bears.  Good news: the Shark hit for half of the Natural Cycle (hitting a single, double, triple, and home run in order) between the last at-bat of Monday's game and the first at-bat of today's game.

BREAKING NEWS

After the game, there was an umpire-only meeting regarding the outcome as something did not seem right. A team with the Shark does not lose 4 games in a row. A look inside the PawSox clubhouse revealed that their intuition was correct. APPARENTLY, knowing that they were facing The Shark, the Pawtucket team had secured several BlackTip Reef Sharks in order to harness their magic. The act to obtain this "Black Magic" is too disturbing to describe but it involves several jars of mayonnaise. Apparently, the PawSox had used the magic in both games. Needless to say, the "Black Magic" was confiscated, and Bernadina himself swam the sharks back into their natural habitat in the South Pacific.
The series with the she-bears continues tomorrow at 6:15.  Without the "Black Magic," the Shark has a fresh chance to devour the competition (although goofy-faced non-magic bears, wearing red kilts, hardly seem like competition).

The Nationals, meanwhile, kick off a series against the Cardinals in St. Louis tonight.  We have all seen what the Shark can do against the Cardinals (I might watch that video 10 times a day for inspiration).  I'm intrigued to see what they will be able to do without him.   At the time of this post, the Nationals game is still delayed because of rain (RAIN DOESN'T AFFECT SHARKS).  Update: The game has been postponed.  Another doubleheader tomorrow (second in 4 days)!

Finally, I would like to thank Let Teddy Win, a brilliant blog about the spectacle that is the President's Race at Nationals Park, for taking and uploading this sharktacular photograph of the Sharkadina family from NatsFest 2011 (run-on sentences rule!).  If you are interested in another novelty aspect of the Washington Nationals, check this blog out, you won't regret it.

Quote of the day: "Sharks don't wear Reebok pumps cuz those are for dolphin-ass chumps. Sharks wear Air Nikes - the real deal" - PK Thresher

More to come.

Sunday in (Nats) Park with Sharks

Hello Shark Fans!  While Sharkadina is out of town, I am busy holding down The Shark fort here in DC.  I attended the vital "Save Nats Park" April 14 game with Jumpin' Zac Flash where we valiently fought off hordes of ugly Phillie fans to show our support of the Nats and The Shark.

I also had tickets to see my home-state team the Milwaukee Brewers on Saturday and Sunday.  As we all know, Saturday got rained out so the Nationals played a double header yesterday.  I went with "ElizaShark" and we enjoyed the first game and the start of the second game in perfect baseball weather.

I wanted to give some of my observations from this week of Shark-less baseball at Nats Park:

•  I'm so glad that Espinosa is now batting lead-off.  Desmond's slump has been especially frustrating because I inexpliciably drafted him for my fantasy team.
• The other frustrating thing is how AWFUL Mike Morse is playing.  It seems like he "jumped the shark" when they named him everyday LF two weeks into Spring Training.
• For all the emphasis that Rizzo placed on defense in the off-season it is hard to see that on the field (especially the outfield), but Adam LaRoche has made some sweet plays at first that Dunn could never pull off in a million years.
• For as much as I HATE the Phillies (and their fans), Cliff Lee pitched a great game Thursday night.  What was even more impressive was J-Zimm hanging in there with him through 5.
• I will yell "Bring Back Peaches" every time Clippard comes out of the bullpen.  Regardless of a crappy warm up song, he sure is looking great on the mound.  I cringe when Slaten, Gaudin, or Broderick come out.
• The first game on Sunday was one of the most fun I've been to at Nats Park- I think a combination of the weather and the double header increased attendance.  The Nats brought their offense and really got the crowd going!
• Finally, I am still holding out hope that the Shark will be called up soon.  If he keeps doing well in Syracuse and Ankiel, Morse, Nix, and Stairs keep disappointing, it is only a matter of time.

More to come.

News on the Shark Front

The Shark-less Nationals erupted for 8 runs in the first game of a Sunday doubleheader against the Brewers today in NatsTown.  The 8-4 trouncing included three-run home runs from sharked-up Pudge (Ivan Rodriguez) and ESP (Danny Espinosa) and a solo shot from Ian Desmond (who appears to be breaking out of Nationals Park hitters block).  The second game began as a pitching duel until ESP broke it open with a 3-run triple (I need to pick this guy up on my fantasy team, Chone Figgins sucks...).  The Nationals ended up winning 5-1, sweeping the series.  Tyler was fortunate enough to attend the doubleheader so expect a more in-depth shark-nalysis of the games soon.

Meanwhile, in Syracuse, the AAA Chiefs (who as we know are currently starring Roger Bernadina) dropped their last two games against the Lehigh Valley IronPigs (the AAA team of the Phillies...ugh).  Sadly and shockingly, the IronPigs had the Shark's number, holding him to just a single in eight at-bats.  He also struck out too many times.  This, however, can be traced to a hit by pitch which distracted and infuriated the Shark.  The pitcher claimed to have never before pitched to a sea carnivore and threw the ball right at Bernadina's face.

The Shark did get even when the IronPig's mascot ran on the field for a dance in the middle of the 8th.  Bernadina surprised and invigorated the crowd when he made an appearance of his own.

Wasn't Roger Bernadina human sized before?

More Shark news:

• Fresh off the box office success of Soul Surfer, Roger Bernadina is already working on another blockbuster.  From the director of Snakes on a Plane, Shark Night 3D is set to debut September 14th.  Apparently, the movie is the true story of the night Roger Bernadina was told he was demoted to the minors...
• Bernadina's push to ban the trade of shark fins (finning) has gained momentum recently.  Finning is the brutal act of cutting off the fins of live sharks, then tossing the suffering sharks back into the ocean to die slowly.  When asked about it, Bernadina stated, "I want the natural order to return where the only thing hunting down sharks is me."
• National Geographic's Shark Men is gaining popularity.  To date, only one episode has involved Bernadina.  The group attempted to track and tag The Shark, but it became quickly apparent that Bernadina was tracking them.  The show aired the following week with an entirely different cast.

The Shark and the Chiefs kick off another series against the PawSox tomorrow while the next game for the Nationals is against the Cardinals in St. Louis.  This will be a bittersweet series, as "The Shark" debuted against the Cardinals last August and Bernadina will be in Pawtucket... sad.

More to come.

Fresh Off Win, Nationals Players Ready for Shark

In the first game of a three game set against the Brewers, the Nationals won 4-3 in 10 innings.  While they managed to do it without the Shark, honestly I don't know how much help Bernadina could have been.  (Brewers 1st baseman Prince Fielder and Yankees pitcher Bartolo Colon are the only two people on earth that The Shark has problems with swallowing)  As much as I would like to say the Nationals looked like an offensive force to be reckoned with, I would be lying if I did.  In fact, the Brewers appeared to want the Nats to win, by walking in 2 runs, and 'poor throwing' in 2 more.  (All 4 runs were 'driven in' without a hit, wow)

It was later revealed that the Brewers were trying to dump Nyjer Morgan back on the Nationals after getting sick of him.  They hoped that if the Nationals won, they wouldn't think anything of a drugged Morgan dumped in the clubhouse, wearing a ratty red t-shirt, and figure he was still on the team.  Fortunately they were unsuccessful and even more fortunately, the Nationals won.

As I mentioned yesterday, several Nationals players are slumping to the point of embarrassment.  I have slowly come to the realization that this is not due to the cool weather, or the tough matchups, or even the moon's powerful pull on the earth.  Rather, it has come to my attention that the Nationals really just miss The Shark.

Ian Desmond for example, who was arguably hit the hardest by the departure of the Shark, is currently batting 0 for 25 at home and batting this season.  That is definitely not the kind of production you want to see from your leadoff hitter.  Danny Espinosa led off tonight and went 0 for 4... Not great either.  In an interview, Desmond stated, "It's just really hard for me to be at home (Nationals Park...presumably?) knowing that the Shark isn't there with me.  When we're away, I can keep it out of my mind, but home, without Roger, it's just...I'm sorry (eyes begin watering, )... so hard...I just can't deal with this right now. I need to go find him. Excuse me."  Desmond then grabbed his nearby fishing pole and left the room.

Michael Morse, who was batting .133 going into play today is also having a hard time dealing with the absence of the Shark. "We just can't be the Shark Tank without him.  People call me Mike... What the Sh**k's happened to Mako?!  I'm a Shark (note: not The Shark), damnit.  Jayson [Werth] and I talk about it all the time.  He wants to be The Great Werth again! He's too good to be batting .217.  We need The Shark back now!"  Morse then tried to start a "We-want-the-shark-to-be-promoted-from-the-minors-so-that-we-can-win-the-games-that-the-Nationals-are-playing-against-the-other-teams-in-the-major-leagues-cause-the-shark-can-help-us-really-do-just-that-Win-I-mean." chant going with the interviewer. It didn't catch on.

RicK AnKiel, batting an even .200, seems to be ready for the Shark to be back as well.  Ankiel was recently overheard talking to Rizzo and Riggleman(R&R) stating, "Alright guys, the joke is over.  It was fun while it lasted.  I think the fans really got a kick out me starting in center (dunno where he got this info from?), but I'm officially ready.  Promote The Shark so we can win."  There has been no official word from R&R on the discussion.

Roger Bernadina started his second game in Syracuse tonight, going 1 for 4 with a single.  Not as sharkadelic as yesterday, but he's still batting .375, which is better than AnKiel's and Morse's batting average combined.  Promote The Shark, please!

More to come.

Jumpin Zac Flash vs Phillies Fans

Going to my first National's game:

It's obvious that the Phillies take fanaticism to a scary level (Phillies fan pukes on little girl, ring a bell?).  They've bewitched their fans to be mystical black magic creatures of evil (including their manners and overall appearances).  Here are some examples of these Phillies fan-creatures that I encountered at the game...

The Booing troll who, although a Phillies fan, is obviously a reject from the cast of Jersey Shore (she lives under the pier, probably) and sneak attacks with the opposite of sober-cutesy-boo on the escalator coming up at Navy Yard.  Had anyone been weak at heart, they would have had to fight the mob to turn around in order to escape - we stayed strong

The Siren PYT is a deadly, yet daft, opponent, whose loud screeching "Hiiiiiiii" to the kind Ushers is enough to distract any player and create massive amounts of strikes.  Her one redeeming quality was her drunken compliment of the Shark hood, but her failed realization that a long sweater doesn't make a dress, but rather makes her an honest representation of a Phillies fan.

Last, but NOT least - the Phillies fan who drunkenly wants to argue about my fanaticism toward the RiverSharks (or lack thereof) whilst I am relieving myself at a urinal.

These are not creatures found in nature, but instead caused by massive amounts of fanatic voodoo.  

The lack of contact, much to Jodie Foster's disappointment, throughout the game is credited exclusively to the cat-calls from the Werthless, ill-tempered, fans in the outfield.

We can only hope that the Shark's ability to hit a homer, catch a plane, drop/parachute, land on the field in a full sprint will become a REALITY... soon

 - Flash

More to come.

SHARK DEBUTS, NATS LOSE

Roger Bernadina is back with a vengeance!  After missing several days because of personal issues, followed by two more days of rain, the Shark has finally played baseball in the 2011 season.  The Syracuse Chiefs played two vs. the Pawtucket Red Sox and were victorious twice.  In game one, the Shark didn't start, but he did score the game tying run as a pinch hitter, instrumental in leading to the Chiefs eventual 3-2 extra inning victory.  In the second game, Bernadina started and DOMINATED.

His line: 2 for 3, 2 Runs, a Home run, 2 RBI, and a SB.  How much more Shark-like can you get?  That's a 5 tool Shark right there.  (It is so very nice to have actual information about Roger Bernadina on this blog...) With his ability, I expect to see a lot more of these dominating stat-lines during his tenure in the minors.  Counting down the days until the Shark is once again patrolling the ocean that is the Nationals outfield.

If the Shark was in the Nationals outfield, the outcome of tonight's game might not have been so sad. Cliff Lee of the Phillies completely embarrassed the Nationals, shutting them out on 3 hits and 12 Ks (with only 99 pitches thrown?!). Poor defense by the Nationals largely led to the final 4-0 score, as the Nationals (for whatever reason) thought that the Phillies needed help scoring runs.  Jordan Zimmermann dominated through five, facing the minimum 15 batters.  His perfect game was broken up by a Carlos Ruiz home run (coincidentally, the only earned run of the game).  His home run barely cleared the fence too.  With the Shark in left, I honestly believe we would be watching a highlight reel, 'perfect game saving' catch on Sportscenter tonight.

Which brings me to my next point... SOMETHING needs to be done about the outfield situation.  After today's game, Washington's outfield is batting .190 cumulatively... .190!?!?  I wish I had the cool of Roger Bernadina (who's batting .666) to just shake it off and say "Sh**k happens" but .190 is really bad...Really bad... Those are John Gochnaur numbers... BAD...  I would feel more comfortable with Ryan Leaf starting at quarterback for my favorite football team, than I feel with Morse starting in left for the Nationals.  Please, let something happen soon...

One positive about the Nats game was that there were Shark fans on site.  Our very own @tyindc was at the game with the original Louisville Slugger, Jumping Zac Flash (too many nicknames?...nah).  Check back later for a shark's perspective of the Nats loss.  In the mean time, enjoy these beautiful shark fans.

More to come.

THE BEST WAY TO COPE WITH A SHARKLESS LOSS

If you remember from a few days ago, today, April 13th was the day that I predicted that Roger Bernadina would be called up from the minors (I guess I can't dig it...). Sharkboy oh boy, could the Nationals have used The Shark tonight.  After getting shut out 8 innings by the seemingly immortal Roy Halladay, the Nationals summoned the spirit of the Shark in an attempt to once again stun the Phillies.

Unfortunately, after scoring 2 runs, to pull within one run of tying, Matt Stairs (still batting .000) and Ivan Rodriguez (say it ain't so Pudge) struck out to end the game.  That left the score 3-2 and the season series 1-1.  The Shark's spirit can only go so far, friends.   

Dear Nationals, summon the Shark from the minors if you want consistent victories....

Interestingly, the Shark's 2011 season in the minor still has yet to begin.  The game was "rained" out. (despite predictions of blue skies).  My best guess is that the "rain" was actually the tears of the PawSox, who were too afraid to play and were praying that the Shark would be called up to the Nationals before the game. CONSPIRACY!

It's been a tough day.  The best way to cope is to sit back and enjoy the little things....

Landshark Lager and Shark Bites

Breaking news:  Roger Bernadina was apparently hanging out on an Australian golf course.  This article uses just about every shark pun ever...  Still I would love to play golf here.  Chip it in the water, and say hi to the Shark!

More to come.

SH**K HAPPENS

When the Phillies come to town, the Nationals are ready to play.  Washington defeated Philadelphia 7-4 with the help of a strong pitching performance by Livan 'Lionhearted' Hernandez and The Great Werth.  RicK AnKiel earned the K's in his name with 2 more in a 1-5 performance.  Like I said before, nothing better than a defeated Phillie Fan and everyone at the game today got to experience that pure joy.  Interesting thing to note: for the season thus far, the Phillies team has a batting average of .334, WHICH IS 117 POINTS HIGHER THAN THE NATIONALS (.217)!!!  When the Shark is finally promoted, we can expect that batting average to go up.  Still, a VERY satisfying victory.

Ryan Zimmerman's abs were the talk of the town yesterday.  After straining his abdomen over the weekend, he was placed on the Disabled List this morning.  While many were hoping that the Nationals were going to promote The Shark, this did not happen.  Rather, they promoted Jesus Flores, and his 2 hits all season from Syracuse.  I'm as surprised as (literally) EVERYONE else is.

Bernadina, cool as a cookie cutter shook it off, saying "Sh**k happens, man."

Like any good teammate, Roger Bernadina offered to take Flores to the airport.  Strangely, Flores hasn't been seen since...

Some good news is that Bernadina returned to Syracuse after missing several games due to "family issues."  Some bad news is that the game today was cancelled so we will have to wait one more day to get some Shark stats on this blog.  Let the season begin!

More to come.

NATIONALS WIN, SHARK IN SPACE?!

The Nationals improved their record to 4-5 by beating the Mets 7-3 in 11 innings.  Laynce Nix (I was as surprised as you were...) hit a game deciding 3-run home run after the Nationals took the lead on a Pudge Rodriguez single.  The "Sharked-up" relief pitchers continued their late inning dominance with 5 scoreless innings.  It was a good win, and we all hope they can carry over the momentum back home.

RicK AnKiel returned to form today with an 0 for 6 showing.  The Great Werth had a 0-4 day and Mako Morse was the only starting outfielder with a hit as he went 1-4.  Following the game, the three of them stepped to the corner of the locker room and played Paper-Scissors-Shark to see who would "volunteer" to go to the minors in order to bring the Bernadina up.  For whatever reason, AnKiel didn't choose Shark once (which eats everything and therefore wins every time) as Werth and Morse did.  Rick was last seen packing his bags and muttering about how badass the "BMW Outfield" sounds

Once again, Roger Bernadina did not play for Syracuse.  It has become clear that without at least partially legitimate Shark news, this blog is pointless.  I wish I could tell you when he would be playing again and where he has been, but I only have speculation. I ask you to just hang tight and keep regularly checking in (also, please continue accosting random people on the street, ordering them to check it out).  The good news is that the Shark has been recently spotted by a Kalamazoo Valley Community College, Astronomy 101 class and is apparently still in baseball form.

Note: Starting Tuesday, the Nationals kick off a series against the Phillies. This is going to be a big test for the Shark-less Nats to prove if they can compete with the Big 4 and the potent Phillies lineup.  It's also a test for Nationals and Shark fans alike to show up and hopefully embarrass the worst fans in America.   Get there and fill the seats.  Trust me, there is no better sound than that of a Phillies fans' heart breaking.  @TyInDC will be there in shark garb, so keep your eyes peeled.

Finally, let us all now join hands and pray that the Nats call up Roger "The Shark" Bernadina to help devour the dimwitted arrogance that is the Philadelphia Phillies.

More to come.

Nats Fall, Shark Rolls Eyes

After 5 innings of today's game, the Washington Nationals were leading 4-3 against the Mets and everything seemed to going great. Tom Gorzelanny had 7 strikeouts and had given up only 3 hits.  It looked as if the Nationals were cruising towards their 3rd straight victory....

...And then Washington remembered that they didn't have a Shark on the team.  Jerry Hairston Jr. acted like a minnow in the Nationals Zoo, botching a ball hit directly at him.  Nationals pitchers proceeded to give up 5 quick runs.  Pinch hitter "specialist" rickety old (Matt) Stairs entered with 2 on in the top of the 8th, with a chance to take the lead, and promptly grounded out.  He is now batting a cool .000.  In his defense, he does have 3 walks, however, he has been an unsuccessful pinch HITTER so far this year.

It should also be noted that Stairs grounded out against Francisco Rodriguez, a man whom Bernadina has batted .667 off, with a home run and 3 RBIs.

On the Mets side, Carlos Beltran hit 2 home runs. When asked to comment on his power display, Beltran laughed and said, "Today I considered myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.  If the Shark-man was playing, I would have gone 0-4.  I know that, you know that.  No reason to hide the truth."

Finally, there is still no sign of the Shark in Syracuse.  The Chiefs surprisingly won 2-1 without the Shark.  Everyone had sharked up before the game  The one highlight of that game was Boomer Whiting, who, when called to play CF, appeared in majestic fashion, decked out in authentic Egyptian pharaoh garb. and scored the winning run in the 10th (as the pitcher refused to throw anything near him).

Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, Roger Bernadina rolled his eyes.

More to come.

Shark Scares a Ray; Still MIA

The Shark-less Nationals just spoiled the Mets home opener to improve to 3-4 on the season!  Pudge's surprising 2 RBI single in the eighth and the awesome pitching by the Peach-less Clip sealed it.  But that's not the big story today...

Manny Ramirez retired today after testing positive for "performing enhancing drugs." Allegedly, the Tampa Bay Rays player tracked down Bernadina and asked him for some of his "Shark Sweat."  An anonymous reader sent in this photo of the two meeting:

Of course, The Shark would never help out an opposing player and he denied Manny's request.  Manny was not only upset, but realized that he, as a mere Ray, would never be able to compete with the fearsome Shark.  So, it was not "performing enhancing drugs," but rather embarrassment and fear that drove Manny to retirement- which baseball player/sea creature will be next?

In other news, Bernadina was still nowhere to be found today at the Syracuse Chief's game.  Maybe the Shark is taking a few days to take a vacation and see the sights in San Francisco?

Or possibly hanging out with Stephen Baldwin in Venice?

More to come.

Nationals "Shark Up," Feast on Marlins

Victorious!  This morning, I predicted that the Nationals would feast on Marlin blood during tonight's game.  Turns out, I predicted correctly (probably will never happen again)!  It took 11 innings, but the Nationals (shockingly, still without the Shark), defeated the Marlins 5-3.  Immediately after the game, several Nationals players, led by Todd Coffey were seen tearing open Florida's Wes Helms and dipping into him with a ladle (untrue). Not really, but they did go fishing, catch a marlin, and drink it's sweet apple-juice blood (still untrue).

A lot of credit for the win goes to the Nationals bullpen and their 6 scoreless innings.  However, when congratulated after the game, the bullpen quickly passed all the credit to Roger Bernadina.  Apparently, they all injected the Shark's sweat directly into their brachial artery before the game giving them the strength needed to win.  John Lannan refused to "shark up" and gave up 3 runs...

Very little credit goes to the outfield combo of Nix and AnKiel.  AnKiel actually raised his batting average up to .158 with a 1 for 4 performance (but it is no surprise that he also struck out).  Laynce Nix, starting in left, went 0 for 2 with an error (Note: sharks do not make errors). Unable to watch the game myself, I was left with MLB Gameday (which falsely represents the number of fans at Sun Life Stadium) and updates from TyInDC.  According to him, "Nix and Ankiel [dropped] everything in the OF tonight." Since they aren't sharks, I don't doubt that for a minute.

Finally, as mentioned yesterday, the Syracuse Chiefs kicked off their 2011 season!  Shockingly, Roger Bernadina did not play. WHAAAAAAAATT??  Some reports have stated that he will miss a few games due to family issues.  If that is the case, I hope everything is okay.  Other theories have Bernadina house shopping in Onondaga Lake, traveling, because he's been called up to the Nationals (I wish), or devouring Somali pirates.  The most likely scenario, however, is that the Buffalo Bisons took a page out of Gloria James' book and ambushed, beat, and locked up the Shark before the game.  Fearful of his skills, the Bisons' manager did everything he could to prevent the Shark from playing.  It didn't have it's desired affect, fortunately, as the Chiefs beat the Bisons 8-4.  Hopefully Bernadina will be back playing soon.

More to come.

Nationals Skewered by Marlins, Bernadina Disappointed

As the Nationals hung their heads in shame after losing 7-4 to the Marlins yesterday, a glimmer of hope remained in their eyes.  Sure, the game was sloppy.  The Nationals led 4 to nothing going into the 5th inning when everything unraveled.  The game quickly became tied and then by the 7th, the Nationals were down 6-4.  Todd Coffey was ejected, RicK AnKiel (.133 BA) and Mako Morse (.118 BA) went a combined 1 for 7.

After the game Jim Riggleman said, "I just want to apologize to all the Nats fans out there who were expecting more from us this season.  We all make mistakes.  I will never forgive myself unless the Shark is back soon.  I will not rest!"  When told that he had the power to bring the Shark back, Riggleman exclaimed, "Really?  How come no one told me this before?"  Everyone just stared blankly at him.

Roger Bernadina was not pleased with the Nationals anemic performance.  When cornered for questioning, The Shark devoured the reporters.

Many of you are asking, what about that glimmer of hope that you talked about? The Syracuse Chiefs kick off the 2011 season tonight against the Buffalo Bisons.  BERNADINA will be playing!  Meaning... we will actually have more real information on Bernadina soon!  Can you dig it? 

Prediction time:  Barring any injuries, Roger Bernadina will be called up April 13th.  That will give him a week in the minors to display his skills, and give the Nats outfield enough time to show they need him. Can you dig it??

THE NATIONALS WILL DRINK MARLIN BLOOD TONIGHT!!!! 

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

I can dig it.  But I would dig it even deeper if I knew the Shark would be playing.

Something pointless.  Can you guess which US city I'm in?

This 1778 painting of a Roger Bernadina feeding frenzy is prominently displayed in this city's Museum of Fine Arts

This X will be here until Roger Bernadina plays in this city's baseball stadium

More to come.